• 25th July
    2014
  • 25
  • 17th July
    2014
  • 17

Me, towards all my PTSD/anxiety issues that are trying to have a massive snowball effect this morning…

image

Then I try to get out of bed and everything from body memories to lupus/fibro pain hit me and all of a sudden it’s like…

image

This is a problem. (Especially since, as a business owner, my ass needs to be at that shop on the days I’m supposed to be open.)

Maybe I can like, sit around and meditate or paint or do something to keep myself busy aka quiet my brain. STFU PTSD. S.T.F.U.

  • 16th July
    2014
  • 16
  • 16th July
    2014
  • 16
  • 16th July
    2014
  • 16
  • 10th July
    2014
  • 10

*Biggest trigger warning for domestic violence, VAW, violence against animals, animal abuse, abuser dynamics, & how awful seemingly ‘easy’ decisions can sometimes almost get you and your defender killed.*

I’m gonna go rock in a dark corner now…’cause this broke my heart all over again. I needed this 5 years ago. Why couldn’t I find this 5 years ago…

  • 5th July
    2014
  • 05
  • 28th June
    2014
  • 28
  • 17th June
    2014
  • 17
  • 11th June
    2014
  • 11
  • 7th June
    2014
  • 07
  • 27th May
    2014
  • 27

That last one…not even kidding…I fell asleep for a little while last night & was having nightmares where I was in danger of being assaulted/being assaulted & woke myself up because I was yelling ‘fire’ so loud that the effin’ neighbors heard me screaming.

Nothing was on fire…but even in my nightmares I knew yelling fire was going to get me ‘help’ faster than yelling ‘rape’. Take a moment & let that sink in. EVEN IN MY FUCKING NIGHTMARES I KNEW TO YELL FIRE…

(Source: adventuringasnotagrownup, via poofyphluff)

  • 19th May
    2014
  • 19

Not sleeping more than an hour or two every couple days does start to make you bonkers if it goes on long enough…

Yeah, I haven’t really been able to sleep for a ‘full night’ in years, but this time of year is always especially crappy. Days start to blend together, and you kinda start forgetting what the hell you’ve already done/need to do, so you look like a total spaz.

You basically end up feeling like the walking dead 24/7, and your body lets you know how pissed off it is with the whole no sleep worth a shit thing.

Thank you PTSD, lupus, fibro, anxiety, and god only knows what else is forcing my brain to never slow down enough to sleep worth a shit.

  • 1st May
    2014
  • 01
  • 17th April
    2014
  • 17

And 4 years ago today somebody decided to start a war with me.

Guess what, motherfucker, I’m apparently ‘stronger’ than you thought I was, because I’m still here. I may not be the same person I was back then, and I may be covered in the injuries of war, but I’m still standing. 

So fuck you. Fuck you you cowardly asshole. Fuck. You. 

No matter how bad it hurts, no matter how many times I want to give up, I won’t. If for no other reason than I’m not letting you win this war. And if there’s an endgame type situation for all this, bring it on, motherfucker.